Just Because That's the Mood I'm In

Have you ever been stuck in a rut, when you don't know if you're coming or going? I feel like that's where I am. Attempting to get my house in order so I can claim to be somewhat normal. But that's not really what I want. I want to be myself and not give a damn about what people think. Not care if I look like I've had one "Rainy Night" too many or been having too many "Night Light" mints. People don't realize that I really don't want to know what they think about my hair, my clothes, anything that you could possibly comment on about me. I am me. I know what I look like. I can tell when I haven't gotten enough sleep or if I sound like the walking dead. I'm not stupid. I can do anything you ask, but you have to ask. I am not a mind reader. And I'm not made of glass either. It may take a few times, but eventually I tell you exactly what I want, even though it might not be what you want to hear. I work my ass off, a little respect would be nice. I can talk and walk at the same time. I'm a multitasking champ. It's kind of hard not to be between work and school and home and life. I have to be able to carry three conversations at once...e-mail, text message and the attorney standing in front of me.And I want you to listen. Don't interrput me when I'm talking. Don't make everything about you. Sometimes other people need help too. Any when I say I want to be left alone, just leave me alone. Put your arms around me, offer comfort. Don't try to talk. Sometimes silence is best. And if I say I don't want to do something, it probably means, I don't want to do it. There are times when I'm going to be boring as hell just wanting to stay home and cook or not or whatever. Watch a movie, watch tv. Read a book, crochet. Or just fall asleep on the couch. It doesn't mean that there is something wrong. I'm only human, I can't go on forever without some kind of rest.Overworked, underpaid and there are going to be times when I bring it home with me. I don't want to and I know you don't either, but sometimes it has to happen. And when I'm on vacation, I'm on vacation. No work, no school, no anything but the moment. We all need to take those moments because who's to say that today or tomorrow won't be your last. Enjoy life while you can. Live everyday. Don't sweat the small stuff. And yes, sometimes I should take my own advice.I listen when you need me to and want me to, even if I don't know anything about what you're talking about or even care. Treat me like I'm a human being and not some fanastic piece of meat you're trying to "buy" at the bar. If you want to keep your fingers, my advice would be act like a fucking gentleman, not some egotistical version of yourself. Believe me you'd make a better impression that way.And now it's time for me to take a breath because this wasn't what I planned when I started out. It has morphed into something bigger than I can control and it's time for me to let go.