Normalcy?

Once again, it's that time of year...Mardi Gras, dreaded by all normal people and loved by the insane.  I can't wait for Wednesday when life returns to somewhat normal.  At least we have a break between Mardi Gras and Jazz Fest. Just like I said, I didn't go to a single parade.  Being sick and not enjoying crowds will do that to you.  I only wish we had gotten to spend more time together.  It seems like everytime we make plans something gets in the way.

For a company that doesn't give two shits about you, you seem to work awfully hard for them.  Putting them before everything else in your life.  You will never get to enjoy the good times if they are always intruding.  I doubt you have even said anything about how unhappy you are.  No, he won't answer you in a timely manner because he's just a dick.  But you'll make sure you do your job 110% hoping that he will notice.  He never will.  It's a losing battle.  I know that you want out.  In order to get out, you have to take the necessary steps and not just keep bitching.  I'm not advocating quiting without having something else, but I do believe that it's time for you to move on.  Do whatever you can to get out.  Otherwise, you will never be happy.

I really wanted to see you tonight.  I'm really freaked out and could really use a hug.  I don't want to say it this way, but it looks like I'm going to have to.  My period is two weeks late.  We both know I'm not pregnant because in order to get pregnant you have to have sex and that hasn't happened in a while...since before the first of the year.  I'm scared that there's something seriously wrong with me.  I have another week before my doctor's appointment, and all I can think is that he's going to give me some bad news.  It would be really nice if I could talk to you about it.  I don't even know if you want to hear these things.  It's not like there is ever a time or place where I can say them and not worry about you having to get up and go do dishes or get ice or when there's no one around.  I know there's no good time and place, but sometimes, you're just going to have to deal with that.

I don't have much to say today.  You would think I did, but I really just want to feel normal again.  I want to be the person you fell in love with and not the robotic freak I have been.